Several blogs I frequently visit recently have had some similar posts. I guess I have to include my own blog in this group as well, since the subject matter has been on my mind as of late.
Communication.
I have never been very good with communicating. I have thoughts, opinions, and information going through my head all the time, but when asked "What are you thinking?"...blank. I don't know how to put my disjointed thoughts into words so that the person asking the question can understand, and also explain my thoughts in a way that I don't sound like a complete mental case. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Ben often asks me this question, "What are you thinking?" He tries so hard to get me to open up and really communicate, no matter how small and insignificant the thoughts in my head may be. My family struggled with communication...we are challenged that way. So to break away from that and really strive to put a voice to my thoughts has been a huge stretch. I get frustrated with myself and also frustrated with Ben..."Why do you ask me this question? When I have something to say...I'll say it".
But in reality I often don't. I have to be poked and pushed to speak my mind.
I have never wanted to be the person that just spews words just for the sake of speaking. I know people like this. When this is the case, more often than not, these words can be hurtful and undeserved. This is the last thing I would want so I find myself guarding my words. When I have opinions running through my mind...I keep them there. If I really feel the need to voice them, I will make sure they are well put together so they come out of my mouth concise, accurate, appropriate and courteous. Even though I may be passionate about a topic...I never want to offend.
A few verses that have impacted my life and are my philosophy:
"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." Prov. 10:19
"He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin." Prov. 13:3
"If any one considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." James 1:26
"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification." Romans 14:19
"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Romans 12:18
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Throughout this past year Ben and I have learned a lot from each other about communication. I have learned he wishes for transparency and an openness with me. While I have learned I wish for the same thing, I find it difficult for me to give him that so freely. It's not that I don't want to, it's just one of those life hurdles that I have to make my way over.
Communication is important in a good marriage. When I think of the ideal marriage I see the deepest connection two people can possibly have. I knowledge of each other and a bond that is so great it almost can't compare to any other union, exactly how our relationship should be with Christ. But in order for this union to be all that it needs to be, it all comes back to that big word: communication.
How can two people get to that place of deep understanding when there isn't clear communication...from both partners?
In the process of attaining this so desired union...I know very well that some unattractive qualities I unfortunately possess will likely rear their ugly heads along the way. But I am so very thankful that Ben is patient. We have made some great progress in this area of our relationship that I have great hope we will only continue to grow more and more connected in the way God designed marriage to be.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Progress
I realized this morning that I haven't posted in awhile and figured it was time for an update.
The only thing that consumes my time other than work...are wedding plans. Things are coming along really well.
The church is reserved, the reception site is booked, order of ceremony has been decided, music and performers have been selected, florist has been selected, and pre-marital counseling will begin mid July. Everything seems to be on track.
I went with 3 of my 5 bridesmaids to try on bridesmaid dresses. Wow! That took no time at all. I expected to be shopping for hours and hours...maybe even days. It was the 3rd dress Jess tried on and then I told Katy and Tara, "That's it! Everyone try that one on!". Pretty painless. Now all my girls need to order the dress and we'll be set.
I have been dress shopping, tried on at least 20 different dresses and I think I've found the one. It's a very exciting thing to stand in front of the mirror in the dress you will get married in. The assistant at the bridal store was a HUGE help. I enjoyed being with her, she made a potentially stressful day into a fun and light-hearted experience. 10 or so dresses came and went...then she brought this one in. It didn't look like anything I had been drawn to before. I put it on, and it was perfect. Everything about it was me. I stood in front of the mirror...on a little stool to get the full effect...for about 15 minutes. A pretty good sign that it's a keeper. :)
I will be meeting with my florist, Cheryl, the 2nd or 3rd week in July to discuss the flowers. I have a pretty good idea of what I want so that could help get the ball rolling. I'm looking forward to working with her during this time. I've seen the arrangements she has done and I know she will be amazing.
I've been doing some price checking on invitation ideas. I know what I like, but they are too expensive so I'm hoping that getting the supplies to make them myself will be worth it. We'll see though.
One thing I'm looking forward to is the cake tasting. :) Cake isn't my most favorite dessert but it's the wedding staple pretty much. I know what I want it to look like...just have to figure out the flavors. I think Ben and I will have some fun doing that.
Ben and I have decided where we are honeymooning. There are a couple destination points so we have been talking through the details to make it all happen. It involves a road trip which I was a little skeptical of in the beginning but I'm really looking forward to it. Road trips with Ben are so much fun and like Ben said "we will make so many memories".
I believe that is all I have right now. More to come!
The only thing that consumes my time other than work...are wedding plans. Things are coming along really well.
The church is reserved, the reception site is booked, order of ceremony has been decided, music and performers have been selected, florist has been selected, and pre-marital counseling will begin mid July. Everything seems to be on track.
I went with 3 of my 5 bridesmaids to try on bridesmaid dresses. Wow! That took no time at all. I expected to be shopping for hours and hours...maybe even days. It was the 3rd dress Jess tried on and then I told Katy and Tara, "That's it! Everyone try that one on!". Pretty painless. Now all my girls need to order the dress and we'll be set.
I have been dress shopping, tried on at least 20 different dresses and I think I've found the one. It's a very exciting thing to stand in front of the mirror in the dress you will get married in. The assistant at the bridal store was a HUGE help. I enjoyed being with her, she made a potentially stressful day into a fun and light-hearted experience. 10 or so dresses came and went...then she brought this one in. It didn't look like anything I had been drawn to before. I put it on, and it was perfect. Everything about it was me. I stood in front of the mirror...on a little stool to get the full effect...for about 15 minutes. A pretty good sign that it's a keeper. :)
I will be meeting with my florist, Cheryl, the 2nd or 3rd week in July to discuss the flowers. I have a pretty good idea of what I want so that could help get the ball rolling. I'm looking forward to working with her during this time. I've seen the arrangements she has done and I know she will be amazing.
I've been doing some price checking on invitation ideas. I know what I like, but they are too expensive so I'm hoping that getting the supplies to make them myself will be worth it. We'll see though.
One thing I'm looking forward to is the cake tasting. :) Cake isn't my most favorite dessert but it's the wedding staple pretty much. I know what I want it to look like...just have to figure out the flavors. I think Ben and I will have some fun doing that.
Ben and I have decided where we are honeymooning. There are a couple destination points so we have been talking through the details to make it all happen. It involves a road trip which I was a little skeptical of in the beginning but I'm really looking forward to it. Road trips with Ben are so much fun and like Ben said "we will make so many memories".
I believe that is all I have right now. More to come!
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