AC is broken in our office today. Great timing I must say...on a 90+ degree day.
I swear this happens every year.
Funny things...air conditioners. They don't seem to work on the hottest days of the year (at least in my office), they conveniently poop out on us. But they work perfectly on those winter months when they have no reason to be on (thank you to all the ladies with hot flashes..you freeze me out of the place!) :o)
It's a continuous puzzlement to me.
Excuse me while I go stick my head in the fan....
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Seesaw of Life
People often say they are thankful for their past, after all it made them who they are today, right? And if given the choice to go back in time and change anything..they would opt not to. I often say that too. Because in a sense it's true. Those hardships, that everyone usually goes through, built some backbone, confidence, and independence that otherwise I might not have gained.
I love my sister. She is one of the greatest people in my life. We are alike in so many ways, it's almost scary. But we have some very obvious differences too. And those differences were the cause of some early life hardships, and I'm still carrying them to this day.
Tara is a talker. She's known as that. It's her gift. She is very engaging in a conversation and also entertaining to watch as she talks. I am the listener. Probably because Tara did all my talking for me while I was growing up..I didn't feel a need to speak up. I'm an observer. I like to watch people, I like to read them and figure out what's going on in their head at the moment. These attributes have heightened my sensitivity to people, and their feelings, and how they feel towards me. I want and desire everyone to be happy and to get along.
Back to the issue of: Tara is the talker, I'm the listener.
That's kind of how I was defined. I remember 10 or so years ago, my family had flown back to Indiana for my Grandmother's birthday. There were many of my distant family members at the party who I had never met before. I remember Mom leading me over to one of her cousins, "This is Amber, the quiet one".
Maybe some people don't see that as a hurtful comment. But it was a very painful jab, because it wasn't the first time and it certainly wasn't the last. Since when does "quiet" become a negative character? I always thought it was a good thing. No one likes loud, obnoxious, rowdy people right? They come off as immature, abrasive, and unapproachable, at least to me they do.
These comments, such as the "she's the quiet one", made me second guess myself, my character, and the way people viewed me. Was I wrong to be quiet? As an 11 year old...it was devastating to me to think I could be a disappointment to my parents if they expected me to be more like Tara. I wasn't Tara. My sensitivity grew and I found myself extremely defensive whenever I felt my "quiet" nature was under attack. I wanted to defend the person God made me to be. Why did I need to change?
This is where that independence kicked it. I wasn't Tara. I was determined to be who I wanted to be and who God created me to be. I became my own person. Somewhat rebellious at times...but I was making my own life and I didn't want to be compared anymore. I started making my own decisions. I moved out of my parents' house right out of high school. I don't even remember asking if this was okay with them or not. But at that point, it didn't matter to me. I made the arrangements on my own and I was OUT.
Since then I've made some big decisions, on my own and I'm proud of that. But recently it has been brought to my attention that I need to become a little less independent now. I'm getting married this year and this independence I have can cause some difficulties. I'm struggling to find the balance. I can't make all the decisions on my own, like I'm so used to doing. I have to confer with Ben and it's not always easy to do because most of the time I already have my mind made up. I have someone else's needs and feelings to think about, it's not just me anymore.
Balancing is tricky
I love my sister. She is one of the greatest people in my life. We are alike in so many ways, it's almost scary. But we have some very obvious differences too. And those differences were the cause of some early life hardships, and I'm still carrying them to this day.
Tara is a talker. She's known as that. It's her gift. She is very engaging in a conversation and also entertaining to watch as she talks. I am the listener. Probably because Tara did all my talking for me while I was growing up..I didn't feel a need to speak up. I'm an observer. I like to watch people, I like to read them and figure out what's going on in their head at the moment. These attributes have heightened my sensitivity to people, and their feelings, and how they feel towards me. I want and desire everyone to be happy and to get along.
Back to the issue of: Tara is the talker, I'm the listener.
That's kind of how I was defined. I remember 10 or so years ago, my family had flown back to Indiana for my Grandmother's birthday. There were many of my distant family members at the party who I had never met before. I remember Mom leading me over to one of her cousins, "This is Amber, the quiet one".
Maybe some people don't see that as a hurtful comment. But it was a very painful jab, because it wasn't the first time and it certainly wasn't the last. Since when does "quiet" become a negative character? I always thought it was a good thing. No one likes loud, obnoxious, rowdy people right? They come off as immature, abrasive, and unapproachable, at least to me they do.
These comments, such as the "she's the quiet one", made me second guess myself, my character, and the way people viewed me. Was I wrong to be quiet? As an 11 year old...it was devastating to me to think I could be a disappointment to my parents if they expected me to be more like Tara. I wasn't Tara. My sensitivity grew and I found myself extremely defensive whenever I felt my "quiet" nature was under attack. I wanted to defend the person God made me to be. Why did I need to change?
This is where that independence kicked it. I wasn't Tara. I was determined to be who I wanted to be and who God created me to be. I became my own person. Somewhat rebellious at times...but I was making my own life and I didn't want to be compared anymore. I started making my own decisions. I moved out of my parents' house right out of high school. I don't even remember asking if this was okay with them or not. But at that point, it didn't matter to me. I made the arrangements on my own and I was OUT.
Since then I've made some big decisions, on my own and I'm proud of that. But recently it has been brought to my attention that I need to become a little less independent now. I'm getting married this year and this independence I have can cause some difficulties. I'm struggling to find the balance. I can't make all the decisions on my own, like I'm so used to doing. I have to confer with Ben and it's not always easy to do because most of the time I already have my mind made up. I have someone else's needs and feelings to think about, it's not just me anymore.
Balancing is tricky
Friday, May 18, 2007
My Weakness
Starbucks.
It's a beautiful thing. Especially this morning. I had a little bit of a late night last night and the morning was NOT welcomed. I drug myself into work and I looked like a wreck. In my mind, the only remedy was Starbuck's.
So during my morning break I busted up to the Starbuck's up the road. I love that they put one right by our work on Sylvan Hill. So convenient. Bad for the wallet...but sacrifices must be made to be effective at work, right?
I decided to try something different. When I find a good drink that I like, I usually don't stray too much. I'm not a natural coffee lover. It took me awhile to convert. But it was definitely worth the effort. I can tolerate a lot of new drinks but I like to stick to a couple favorites. My typical choices: Vanilla Bean Frappuccino in the summer, White Chocolate Mocha in the winter.
But this time I needed more of a kick to it. I went for a Java Chip Frapp. The perfect blend of dark roast coffee (double strength), chocolate chips, crushed ice and topped with whipped cream and drizzled with chocolate syrup.
Amazing! I'm hooked now.
Bring on the coffee jitters!
It's a beautiful thing. Especially this morning. I had a little bit of a late night last night and the morning was NOT welcomed. I drug myself into work and I looked like a wreck. In my mind, the only remedy was Starbuck's.
So during my morning break I busted up to the Starbuck's up the road. I love that they put one right by our work on Sylvan Hill. So convenient. Bad for the wallet...but sacrifices must be made to be effective at work, right?
I decided to try something different. When I find a good drink that I like, I usually don't stray too much. I'm not a natural coffee lover. It took me awhile to convert. But it was definitely worth the effort. I can tolerate a lot of new drinks but I like to stick to a couple favorites. My typical choices: Vanilla Bean Frappuccino in the summer, White Chocolate Mocha in the winter.
But this time I needed more of a kick to it. I went for a Java Chip Frapp. The perfect blend of dark roast coffee (double strength), chocolate chips, crushed ice and topped with whipped cream and drizzled with chocolate syrup.
Amazing! I'm hooked now.
Bring on the coffee jitters!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Camping...Christensen Style
Last Friday Ben and I along with Katy and Renjy piled into the car and headed out to Cascade Locks for a fun-filled weekend of camping. We were on our way to meet up with Ben's parents (and Buddy the dog too), who recently purchased a camper and were eager to make use of it.
We got to the KOA camp site just as the night was setting in and rushed to set our tents up before all the light was gone. I was a little rusty at putting up my tent. It's been years since the days of backpacking with Dad and Tara...took me a little longer than it used to.
After the tents, we wandered over to Dean and Becki's site to sit around the warm camp fire and chat. It was great. I love spending spending time with my future in-laws. Camping is one of my favorite things. I love that I'm coming into a family that loves to do the outdoorsy things I did while I was a "little pip-squeak" (as Dad always called me).
Friday night was freezing! I was so cold, all alone in my little tent. Smelly tent too. I don't think it had been set up since those old backpacking days. It had that musty smell to it. I woke up the next morning to Buddy hugging my head and licking my face. And Katy and Renjy singing Michael W. Smith songs from their tent. I like waking up early, I usually consider myself a morning person, most of the time. But I'm not used to a dog in my face...or singing in the morning for that matter. At that particular moment, I'm definitely not a morning person.
That day the campsite managers cooked a pancake breakfast for everyone. Afterwards Katy and Renjy decided to go on a hike. Ben and I would have gone but I forgot to pack hiking shoes. So Ben and I stayed in the camper, watched TV, drank tea, read a book, talked with Becki, and took Buddy for a walk. When Katy and Renjy came back we roasted marshmallows and hot dogs. We tore down the tents because we didn't want to freeze again. So we all piled into the camper for our last night there. Good thing we did because it began to rain. We played some card games, Skip-Bo, and Apples to Apples. We never got around to Settlers though. That night, all stretched out in our sleeping bags nice and snug in the camper, we put on an old movie, "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" before we all fell asleep.
The next morning we had a quick breakfast and packed everything back up into Renjy's car and headed home.
It was a fun weekend. I kinda forgot how fun camping was. Now I can't wait to go again.
We got to the KOA camp site just as the night was setting in and rushed to set our tents up before all the light was gone. I was a little rusty at putting up my tent. It's been years since the days of backpacking with Dad and Tara...took me a little longer than it used to.
After the tents, we wandered over to Dean and Becki's site to sit around the warm camp fire and chat. It was great. I love spending spending time with my future in-laws. Camping is one of my favorite things. I love that I'm coming into a family that loves to do the outdoorsy things I did while I was a "little pip-squeak" (as Dad always called me).
Friday night was freezing! I was so cold, all alone in my little tent. Smelly tent too. I don't think it had been set up since those old backpacking days. It had that musty smell to it. I woke up the next morning to Buddy hugging my head and licking my face. And Katy and Renjy singing Michael W. Smith songs from their tent. I like waking up early, I usually consider myself a morning person, most of the time. But I'm not used to a dog in my face...or singing in the morning for that matter. At that particular moment, I'm definitely not a morning person.
That day the campsite managers cooked a pancake breakfast for everyone. Afterwards Katy and Renjy decided to go on a hike. Ben and I would have gone but I forgot to pack hiking shoes. So Ben and I stayed in the camper, watched TV, drank tea, read a book, talked with Becki, and took Buddy for a walk. When Katy and Renjy came back we roasted marshmallows and hot dogs. We tore down the tents because we didn't want to freeze again. So we all piled into the camper for our last night there. Good thing we did because it began to rain. We played some card games, Skip-Bo, and Apples to Apples. We never got around to Settlers though. That night, all stretched out in our sleeping bags nice and snug in the camper, we put on an old movie, "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" before we all fell asleep.
The next morning we had a quick breakfast and packed everything back up into Renjy's car and headed home.
It was a fun weekend. I kinda forgot how fun camping was. Now I can't wait to go again.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
And the Fun Begins....
Now that the thought of being engaged has set in a little more...hours of gazing at the sparkly on my left hand have faded into long minutes now; it is time to get down to business. The business of planning a wedding.
I'm excited to start this process, I mean it's the day EVERY little girl dreams about. I have visions of what I would like the sanctuary to look like, the flowers, the bridesmaid dresses, my dress, the cake, the music....everything has been thought of. Now it's time to make it happen.
I actually bought a wedding planner from Target online and can't wait to use it.
It includes:
• Calendar section has blank monthly pages for a year of planning
• Suggestions for timing regarding when to book vendors
• Space for budgeting
• A place for keeping receipts
• Recording attire suggestions
• Honeymoon planning tips
• Tabbed pages for guest list
• Invitation ideas
• Ceremony details to help keep me on task
• Enclosed stickers and flags to mark important dates
• Plastic slide-in pages to hold business cards
• A zip pouch that stashes fabric swatches, receipts and more
Can you tell I'm just a little weird about organizational notebooks? I'm so excited!
This could be a really fun experience, but planning a wedding could also be a dreadful experience as well. I haven't had a wedding before and I only plan on doing this once...I want it to be perfect. In order to do that, it would be wise to listen to other's experiences, how certain things worked for them or what they would have done differently and so on.
I've heard horror stories of people (people who weren't even directly involved in the wedding) just pouring out unsolicited advice and opinions to the point where the bride felt bombarded and her wedding seemingly morphed into something that was not what she envisioned for HER big day. That is my fear. I really want this whole ordeal to be enjoyable for not only me but for everyone and I'm nervous about people unintentionally taking over.
I do welcome advice, don't misunderstand. I do value and take what people say into consideration. But only to an extent. I'm a pretty stubborn person and when I have a vision...I usually don't budge too much. Ben can attest to that. :)
Ben and I are SO blessed to have a great support system and so many people praying for us, I know everything will turn out just fine. After all, it's God who needs to be the focus of on our wedding day.
I'm excited to start this process, I mean it's the day EVERY little girl dreams about. I have visions of what I would like the sanctuary to look like, the flowers, the bridesmaid dresses, my dress, the cake, the music....everything has been thought of. Now it's time to make it happen.
I actually bought a wedding planner from Target online and can't wait to use it.
It includes:
• Calendar section has blank monthly pages for a year of planning
• Suggestions for timing regarding when to book vendors
• Space for budgeting
• A place for keeping receipts
• Recording attire suggestions
• Honeymoon planning tips
• Tabbed pages for guest list
• Invitation ideas
• Ceremony details to help keep me on task
• Enclosed stickers and flags to mark important dates
• Plastic slide-in pages to hold business cards
• A zip pouch that stashes fabric swatches, receipts and more
Can you tell I'm just a little weird about organizational notebooks? I'm so excited!
This could be a really fun experience, but planning a wedding could also be a dreadful experience as well. I haven't had a wedding before and I only plan on doing this once...I want it to be perfect. In order to do that, it would be wise to listen to other's experiences, how certain things worked for them or what they would have done differently and so on.
I've heard horror stories of people (people who weren't even directly involved in the wedding) just pouring out unsolicited advice and opinions to the point where the bride felt bombarded and her wedding seemingly morphed into something that was not what she envisioned for HER big day. That is my fear. I really want this whole ordeal to be enjoyable for not only me but for everyone and I'm nervous about people unintentionally taking over.
I do welcome advice, don't misunderstand. I do value and take what people say into consideration. But only to an extent. I'm a pretty stubborn person and when I have a vision...I usually don't budge too much. Ben can attest to that. :)
Ben and I are SO blessed to have a great support system and so many people praying for us, I know everything will turn out just fine. After all, it's God who needs to be the focus of on our wedding day.
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