Funny Stuff Happens at 3am

Last night I had a hard time sleeping. I finally decided to get out of the bedroom around 3am-ish and meet Ben in the living room. My mornings are his nights thanks to a wonderful work schedule.

We sat on the couch flipping through channels on the tv and settled on the comedy channel. There was a comedian by the name Demetri Martin. He was pretty funny. Either that or we were both SO tired that anything was funny.

I'd like to share some of my favorite quotes of his:

“One of my friends has a stutter and a lot of people think that’s a bad thing, but to me that’s just like starting certain words with a drum roll. That’s not an impediment, that’s suspense! What’s he going to say? Car?? …or Carnival?? …Carburetor!?!?"

“A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he’s persuasive. ‘Dude make a left.’ ‘Those are trees…’ ‘Trust me.’ "

“I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that’s when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.”

"My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. ‘Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you’re stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next. ‘Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.’ ”

“I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I’m good at everything.”